Daily Archives: October 8, 2013

I have had checkered careers in my life. I was once into construction business. At one point I was one of the lead masons that constructed the Malabo Bridge in Guinea Equatorial, Central Africa in 1999 before I resigned as a supervisor in June of that year in preparation for my migration to the US. As a mason, one of the tools that we used frequently was the hammer. We used it to drive nails into objects. As we drove nails into woods or other targets we would inadvertently hit the hammer on our fingers. Man, did it hurt!  I also bite my tongue accidentally sometimes and I am sure that some of you do. What amazed me is that in these two scenarios, I never tried to strike my other arm that hit my fingers or strike my teeth with the hammer to get even as we would normally do when someone hits us. In  Ephesians 5:22-25, Paul portrays marriage like Christ and the Church. He talks about how the husband is the head of the wife in the same manner that Christ is the head of the Church. He gives the injunction that wives ought to be subject to their husbands. He also commands the husbands to love their wives in the same manner that Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her.  I have listened to many women that are angered by this passage especially the part that has to do with “submission to husbands.” All of the women that came to speak with me about this passage left very satisfied though leaving me with fear of the aftermath effect when they get home to their husbands (I say this with tongue in cheek). Going back to my construction story: The reason why I did not hit the arm that struck my fingers while I was driving the nail into a target or hit my teeth with a hammer to get even is because it would hurt even more. It would hurt because It’s my body. Marriage is one flesh bond. When couples get married, they become one flesh. They cleave together. The Hebrew word used in Genesis in description of marriage of Adam and his wife Eve is that of welding of two irons together. The man and the woman are welded together and any attempt to separate will be very painful.  They become one body.  My not striking my teeth or my arm with the hammer to get even applies to husbands and wives. When they get into fights; become abusive to each other; or even divorce; it is like striking your teeth with a hammer when you accidentally bite your tongue or striking your arm with a hammer to get even when you inadvertently hit your fingers with a hammer. Husbands, your job is to love your wives the same way that Christ loves the church and gave himself up for her. It is not conditional. If you do this you will never have to worry about your wives loving you (unless you are dealing with a wife that is allergic to being loved; we live in a fallen world). Husbands are to serve their wives, just as Jesus served his disciples. In God’s economy, those who are called to lead are called to be servants. More on this.